This Week Women Are Talking About

• Bullying

  

  NAME: Z
  STATUS: Speechless
  GOAL: Sanity
  PEEVE: Meddlesome parents of other children
  GLEE: Girls’ lunch out

  When the screen on my cell showed Troy’s school calling, I figured a teacher needed volunteers or cupcakes for an event. I make amazing cupcakes.

  Did You know?

  Cyberbullying affects 1 in 10 children. source

  15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school. source

  Childhood bullies are much more likely to commit a crime by age 24. source

  When the principal identified himself, I stopped the mental survey of baking goods in my cabinets.
  “There has been an incident and we need to talk,” he said.

  “Oh my God,” is Troy okay? Is he hurt?”

  “He is fine,” the principal said, pausing for a moment, “but he was involved in some bullying.”

  “Who is picking on my son?”

  He took a breath as he continued. “Z, can I call you Z? Z, Troy was the bully.”
  

  Try These:
  The Bully Roundup Game

  Are you a bully? And other great quizzes on Girl’s Health

  Chat with other moms about bullying and parenting in the forums

  
  That’s when I lost the capacity to speak. The principal, though, had plenty to say. It went like this: Troy’s aggressive behavior was verbal and not physical. The school takes these things very seriously and wanted to intervene before the situation escalated. Not that the situation always escalates but the parents of the other boy called to complain so the teacher had to bring in the school administration. The other parents called because their son told them this wasn’t the first time.

  I was getting impatient and told the principal to get to the point. “What did Troy actually do?”
  “Well,” said the principal, “Troy called the other boy a ‘retard’ and a ‘hick’ and told him he was stupid.”

  “Seriously?” I asked. “That’s it? I heard far worse that that back when I took the bus to junior high and matters rarely stopped with words.”

  It was the principal’s turn to get impatient. “Z,” he said, “our understanding of child aggression is better today and we need to address this and work with both kids. Troy just started fifth grade so he’s new to middle school, which means he may feel a nxious and is acting out,” he said. “Troy is a city boy, and it seems the other boy was new to Nashville and moved here with his family from a small town in Alabama and spoke with a more rural accent and liked farms and cows and horses.”

  “I like farms and cows and horses,” I told the principal.

  He was not amused, but we did agree on a plan. Clay and I would talk to Troy after reading some anti-bullying materials. If it happened again, the other parents wanted a summit meeting in the principal’s office.

  I am still stunned. My baby a budding bully? I did not see that one coming.

  
  Ask our expert, Jim Schliecher, your questions about bullying and see his tips for parents!

  Local Resources	National Resources
  Vanderbilt Center for Parenting	National Institutes of Health
  Nashville Parent	Stop Bullying Now
  Parents Council of Nashville	Dealing with Bullying
  Prevent Child Abuse TN	PBS: Bullies

  All above information has been reviewed and approved by this week’s expert, Jim Schleicher.
  September 1, 2010

  Written By: Z

  @6:00 am